Glory daze

Bluey, Blaze and bolognaise

With Mother’s Day nearly upon us, I’ve been thinking about what us mothering types really need.

While I’m hoping that I’m showered in love and dodgy daycare craft on Sunday, what I dream of is rest.

I’d like to propose a new Mother’s Day tradition - a trip to the mummery.

Like a nunnery, it’s place of quiet reflection where you can sleep as much as you want but you can bring your vibrator and have a wazz in peace.

A place where no-one farts on your face or wakes you up demanding your phone.

There’s a ceremony where you’re recognised for years of service and there are special awards for outstanding efforts.

That time you baked muffins for the bake sale instead of buying them at Coles? Award!

You went to a sports carnival all day Sunday? Award!

Spent all your money on violin camp, physie comps or anything to do with horses? Award!

There’s a loungeroom where children’s shows and televised sport are banned and there’s a kitchen that would make Maggie Beer froth her verjuice.

The bathroom does not smell like piss; the towels are fluffy and the linen on the beds is always crisp.

There are and fresh flowers and reading nooks … and you get the drift.

But really, being the joy of being mother is thanks enough, right?

HA HA HA… kidding!

I have spent the last nine years in a daze of exhaustion and happiness, boredom and love, wiping and washing.

The least we deserve this Sunday is a little thanks, an annual escape and lotta affection for the crushing workload.

Watching

Devil Wears Prada 2

It seems appropriate that I watched this the weekend before The Met Gala that was sponsored by Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos.

This evolution of the blockbuster original features characters based on him and his ex-wife (SO SUBTLE).

This movie is wonderfully distracting eye candy. There’s Lake Como and Milan scenes, celebs, horsey strutting and barbed quips. All the good stuff from the first movie freshened up for another round, plus some wacko fashion to confound your senses.

Don’t expect major character growth or deep insight but I did love revisiting Stanley Tucci’s Nigel; a gentleman and a true believer in the importance of beauty.

In cinemas now. Wear your labels.

Widows Bay

It took me a minute to realise this show is a parody.

If you liked Deadloch, you may well lick this up.

With details like Virginia Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic font show titles and ‘80s wardrobe nods, there are plenty of hints that Widow’s Bay is designed to be a send-up of every show about a haunted house, voodoo village or gateway to hell masquerading as a mini-golf course.

The story follows Tom Loftis, a visionary mayor that wants to turn Widows Bay into the next Marthas Vineyard. The problem is the island is cursed (cue spooky music and fog) so he’s having a little, erm, community pushback.

Watch it on Apple TV with a crocheted blanky to shield you from the jump scares.

Reading

Devil Wears Zara

My friend Lis shared this new anonymously written Substack with me and it’s a scarily accurate satire of what it was like to work at glossy magazines before the influencer circus came to town.

Fun fact: when I worked in consumer PR in Sydney, we hosted launch events at the end of the Australian Consolidated Press (aka the Packer empire) pay period so that starving journalists would attend. Key insight: when you spend your measly income on handbags and shoes, you get really sick of eating Vegemite on toast by the 14th of the month.

Listening

Stella Lefty - Slow Dancin’

If you like a little country with your city, get on board the Stella Lefty Countrylink.

Other fun stuff

• The Met Gala was last night! Fill your eyeballs with Fashion Critical’s excellent coverage here.

• The Archibald Prize finalists have been announced!

• Glandore winery’s Burning of the Barrel tickets are on sale now!

• Genuinely handy money saving tips via my beloved sister Kate! I will add one more tip - make your own greeting cards. The quality is questionable but the crafting is good for your soul.

Thank you, as ever, for reading this and letting me hang out with you. You’re a great bunch of bad asses.

Love,
Em

xxx